Dear Her.
I know you're well informed that like you read my blog, I read yours too. I'm gonna use this medium to let you know some of the things that I think has become my responsibility to let you know. Whether you understand it or not, I leave it to you.

If you ever listen to someone, listen with the most sincerity. There are none other that people look forward to than sincere listeners. As for me, truly I never bothered if one could help me out in a 'I talk you listen' procedure. Yes it is true you could help the person by making the person feel lighter after expressing the problems faced. It is never complete to listen, when you are not sincere enough.

If I may, I believe I am the 'stranger' you mentioned; someone you stupidly trust. Let me hereby declare I'm not a stranger. If you think I am, then I would have done and said much more than you deserved. I never regarded you as just another stranger in my life. I wont bother to make you realised things if I thought that you're a stranger. Cuz I dont love strangers. I dont share anything in my life with strangers. I'm an extreme person. By now I believe you would have known that.

You mentioned that you dont really belong in the house. You dont really blame someone for that. So who do you blame? I suggest you blame yourself. The thing about blaming yourself is that you will see things in a different light. If you want to remain optimistic, you want to remain cheerful, you blame yourself firstly and foremost. After that things will go your way, because nobody in their right mind would wanna keep blaming themselves. You are your own worst enemy. You will work for something that you think deserves a change in your life, and nobody other than yourself can make you really work your ass off for that. The house that you're staying in, its never really my home. Its just somewhere I return to because I'm obliged to do it. But the thing about myself is, I always wanna leave my touch wherever I go. I'm too headstrong, I want things done my way. That was why my room spells of me, not anywhere else in the house.

You mentioned that year 2007 has taught you alot. It has taught me alot too. All that family problems you have, I'm facing it too. In fact, I face more than you do, because I'm a little older than you and have to give it more thoughts than usual.

I am the way I am because I choose it. I choose to be strong. I choose to be independent. And my dear I choose to make the choices that I've made. I never once regretted it. If I do, I'll regret living. I know the difference between my choices and fate. I accept both willingly. I might appear deaf, blind and mute at times. But even when I'm sleeping, my senses are wide awake. Know me, I promise you will never regret it. I've asked alot of people on their opinions about me, and I know what impacts and effects I have on different people. You will never see a same me every single moment. You will never know my next behaviour. I admit, the most difficult part about me is that I'm unpredictable. I got my four seasons. You knew too well I could never be perfect. I dont even want to be. It would take the fun out of everything I do.

Dont sympathise with your own self. It only makes you weaker and will develop a sense of scorn from others. Dont ask questions, instead seek to find the answer. Sometimes, there is an answer to no questions. There is a reason as to why reasons occur. There is a reason why God choose me for you, someone who is older, and even looks like you. Ponder on it. I expect changes the next time I see you. And since you know respect begets respect, start respecting me. Start with courtesy. I'll continue the rest for you. I promise.

PS: This post is in blue because you like the colour. =]

Labels: I love you.

The Bottom Line
If someone is being willful in their attitude toward you, change their mind today.

In Detail
If someone you care about has been being willful in their attitude toward you, today is the day to help them be a little more reasonable and see things your way. But first, you have to let go of the past and give this person one more chance. Put yourself in their place, listen to what they say and give them the benefit of the doubt. Your forgiveness and acceptance will grab their attention long enough for you to set them (and the record) straight.

Watching Little Secrets on Channel 5 right now. It was a great inspiring show. It makes my hands tingle to play the violin, even though I cant. I can only play the clarinet very well and a lil bit of guitar. Haha.

I started today quite late in revising for my work. I had to do some household chores and that nearly took the whole morning. Then I went to sleep for awhile before waking up again to start my revision. I'm only left with exactly 1 week before the ever-dreaded promos exams. I'm ever so afraid for this whole thing. Sheesh. I have to start serious revision already.

I din get to see Hubby today. Due to the lack of communication recently, we just did not know what is happening to each other. All I know is that I needed him right now. Especially during this period of time. I'm still hanging on my handphone for any messages from him. But it looks like I'll only get it the next morning. He doesnt really care I suppose. It is amazing I think. How sometimes it feels like we need each other but at other times we scoffed at the little things that the other did. It is totally difficult to put my feelings down in words, but no doubt I'm feeling so disappointed in his behaviour.

Labels: I love you.

The title above is not meant for me, nor for any of my friends. I was actually blog-hopping and I come across this girl's blog who happened to be none other than my schoolmate. I agree that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But I agree to that self-humility is a great trait to possess. There is absolutely nothing wrong of course to take pictures of yourself because I am quite a camwhore myself. But to do it plus post is every other day will obviously makes people go all "EEEEEWWWW!". That was me actually. I totally have seen her with and without make-up and trust me, she looks just like any average girl in both ways. And I am being nice here. I feel bitchy writing stoopid comments about someone is hardly talked to. But there goes. You want to talk about being a Muslim? Goodness I thought in Islam touching the opposite sex will earn you years in Hell? Oh and there you are bitching about this hate-tagger of yours. Sheesh. But whatever. It is your blog, your face, your admirers and your whatevernot.

And school is getting a lil bit more pathetic than I thought. I mean this whole grooming procedure is such a crap. And because of that I am not able to attend school today just because of my shoes!!! Just what kind of a sick thing is that? Why cant you authorities give us a grace of over the weekend? Shit. And tomorrow would be Parents' Session Day. It is going to be hell because I totally did my worse in all my education life.

I was crying on the phone with Hubby last night. We had a quarrel and me being too sensitive(I think) started raising my voice because he is getting on my nerves. He is totally not being understanding. That is a fact. And he is not giving me the right motivations. I mean, how could you still wanted to meet me despite the fact that I had something more pressing matters that I need to settle? Ok yeah I already made my plans but the least you could do was to scold me graciously. I mean, this is not like I did it for the hundredth time. Even if I did I would have absolutely repent for it later. You knew I would. But nevermind. I know you still love me Hubby. And even if I am too busy to say this I really love you too. I would do anything to make up for all my mistakes I had done to you.

Labels: I love you.