It is a shame I am your lover.

Saturday, February 09, 2008, 4:15 PM

not letting things get to me.

this is so frigging irritating. for one whole day, i've not had peace due to my period cramps. shit shit shit. no wonder i've been behaving like a biatch these few days. i should have known the symptoms. and yes han, you win. you are so gonna get your darn ice-cream.

i miss going out. like really. technically, i dont have friends anymore. friends who said i could turn to them despite anything that happened. so who do i go out with? strangers. like yeah right. i should have known never to take their words for granted, cuz its so on the surface you know. i will still love them, like forever. but sometimes i just cant get that feeling out of inside me. like say feeling left out. yeah i know, i'm the one who doesnt bother to spend time with them, but when i do, i feel like they feel too bothered with me. their greetings are so not normal anymore; no more warmth and sunshine. why, the other day, i was sitting right in front of them and none of them bothered to say something that shows they knew i existed. i was like "what the hell is wrong with you guys?!" maybe its me. i dont know. but its just so hard to talk, i cant find the perfect time. or rather, the perfect situation for everyone. it might not be obvious, but i feel shy among you people alright. for reasons that are so frigging obvious, i dont think i need to spell it out. to do what i'm doing, it takes courage and plenty of thick-skins. if i cant even face my friends, then who will i face? if ever, knowingly or unknowingly, i hurt any of your feelings, and that any of you think that you deserve a sincere apology, i would have do it. but if only i'm in the wrong. i dont know if i'm feeling a little too sensitive, but i really miss you all. like my friends. i want to laugh with you all once again, want to make myself crazy. but i just cant do it, not without any of you. damn i feel hurt. if anyone notice why i'm like so sombong nowadays, i guess you would have known why by now. if you happen to read this post. i absolutely miss you guys, no words can explain how truly i feel it.

and boyfir. stop behaving like that. i damn need you right now. are you going to isolate me too? just because i'm not the same standards as some people? i've said sorry, gazillion of times. do i have to go all old-school and appear before you? do i have to serenade you? because i think i will you know. i'm sick and tired of having to keep every single frigging feeling to myself. i think i'll burst, one fine day. i want you right now, this minute.

Labels: if you would understand.

it is a shame I am your lover



	+ Yours Truly PRINCESSzati♥ i'm not your average girl-next-door. i'm the one your parents would be proud of. i adore the limelight i'm in right now, and i'll swing on any rainbows. i love my twin sista and my mr bestfriend to the core. i wake up on the wrong side of bed on certain days; pardon me. i think with my heart and listen only to my heartbeat. ooooohhh, i'm 18 until the next 01/06. and did i mention i like green? + Tagboard + Exits yijun PRESIDENTzeke azimah iqah shariffa sakinah siti zainuriah fadilah asha geena farah diyanah bukhari rafee kia jin literature forum voicespot ms sharie ong mr samuel wong + Archives happy chinese new year ramblings. insanity. i love them. happy birthday amirah darling! kids. was it just me? changed my blogskin. The Bottom LineTake the advice of friends and asso... Shun Ogori July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 + Credits Host: Blogger Layout © the bikini boy	Saturday, February 09, 2008, 4:15 PM not letting things get to me. this is so frigging irritating. for one whole day, i've not had peace due to my period cramps. shit shit shit. no wonder i've been behaving like a biatch these few days. i should have known the symptoms. and yes han, you win. you are so gonna get your darn ice-cream. i miss going out. like really. technically, i dont have friends anymore. friends who said i could turn to them despite anything that happened. so who do i go out with? strangers. like yeah right. i should have known never to take their words for granted, cuz its so on the surface you know. i will still love them, like forever. but sometimes i just cant get that feeling out of inside me. like say feeling left out. yeah i know, i'm the one who doesnt bother to spend time with them, but when i do, i feel like they feel too bothered with me. their greetings are so not normal anymore; no more warmth and sunshine. why, the other day, i was sitting right in front of them and none of them bothered to say something that shows they knew i existed. i was like "what the hell is wrong with you guys?!" maybe its me. i dont know. but its just so hard to talk, i cant find the perfect time. or rather, the perfect situation for everyone. it might not be obvious, but i feel shy among you people alright. for reasons that are so frigging obvious, i dont think i need to spell it out. to do what i'm doing, it takes courage and plenty of thick-skins. if i cant even face my friends, then who will i face? if ever, knowingly or unknowingly, i hurt any of your feelings, and that any of you think that you deserve a sincere apology, i would have do it. but if only i'm in the wrong. i dont know if i'm feeling a little too sensitive, but i really miss you all. like my friends. i want to laugh with you all once again, want to make myself crazy. but i just cant do it, not without any of you. damn i feel hurt. if anyone notice why i'm like so sombong nowadays, i guess you would have known why by now. if you happen to read this post. i absolutely miss you guys, no words can explain how truly i feel it. and boyfir. stop behaving like that. i damn need you right now. are you going to isolate me too? just because i'm not the same standards as some people? i've said sorry, gazillion of times. do i have to go all old-school and appear before you? do i have to serenade you? because i think i will you know. i'm sick and tired of having to keep every single frigging feeling to myself. i think i'll burst, one fine day. i want you right now, this minute. Labels: if you would understand.